Friday, 28 November 2008

Self Indulgent Piffle

Well, on the first morning of the second test I thought it would be the perfect time to not talk about it (This is going to be a bigger defeat for the Kiwis than Brissie, I reckon), yawn, bring on the Saffers!
So Instead I am going to name my best Aussie team of all time, lets get stuck in.
1. B. Ponsford: He picks himself really, Bill O'Rielly reckoned he had more chance of getting Bradman out than him. He once had four consecutive scores of 437, 202, 38 and 336.
2. D. Boon: Tough, Stoic, Tasmanian with an ability to down drinks on planes that is unsurpassed.
3. Neil Harvey: Averaged just under 50 during 80 tests (ave:83 against South Africa).
4. D. Jones: Mercurial, magical batsman cut down by the stiffs in the ACB for having a personality, would have attained Demi-God status had he been allowed to play his whole career.
5. Doug Walters: The Quintessential Aussie cricketer, ocker, cheeky, loved a drink and a smoke, could bat a bit too (ave 48).
6. Keith Miller: The best all rounder Australia has produced, averaged 36 with the bat and 22 with the ball. Was a pilot with the RAAF during ww2.
7. Ian Healy: With a batting line up like the one above you don't need a batting keeper, just the best keeper. Having said that he scored 4 test centuries and 22 50's.
8. S.K.Warne (Capt.): Enough has been said about his bowling. He should have captained his country but wasn't from NSW.
9. G.McGrath: Picks himself in any team, there has never been a better Line & Length bowler in history in my opinion.
10. D.K : Didn't even need to add his surname, that's why he is in the side.
11. Thommo: Fastest bowler ever. Once stated on live TV before a test against old Blighty: "I enjoy hitting a batsman more than getting him out. I like to see blood on the pitch".
12. D.Bradman: As a teetotaller would be in no danger of drinking the refreshments of his team mates.

Well I have shown you mine how about you show me yours?



  1. That middle order is as shakey as I am at 3am Sat morning. Sir Steve has to make it as far as I'm concerned (and I'm concerned for a long bloody way) for making runs when needed most. Deano go and get stuffed; made a score in India before nearly dying, got a few in a one dayer and that's about it. Hodge has as much right to be there as him. 36 avg is not enough for a number 6 spot; this is up for grabs but I'm going for Graeme Wood out of position because of his mo (Mike Veletta close second). Warney couldn't captain to save his text message - so what if he could tell McGrath when Tendulkar had his weight on his back foot at the crease; if anyone should know something about being a fat lazy bastard chilling at the crease it would be Warne. But Booney! Piss off you pissed fat perving wanker; you marrried your cousin and have it off with more sheep than Vettori. Get Hayden in there (think 2001 India ie younger than 36) and watch him and Ponsford rack up more double hundred opening partnerships than Langer and Hayden or Greenidge and Haynes ever did.

  2. this is too easy, because my selection is based on sound logic.

    the difference is that i have picked only players that i have watched playing within my lifetime.

    M.Hayden (52.64) power and poise the best
    J.Langer (45.27) opening partnership, EVER!

    D.C.Boon (43.65) stoic, focused and no-fuss.
    ballsy in close fielder

    R.Ponting (57.06) 10386 runs in 208 knocks
    field square of the

    A.R.Border (50.56) personified- "captains

    S.R.Waugh (51.06) built on Borders foundation
    (VC) gave the team self faith

    A.C.Gilchrist (47.60) why have a specialist
    keeper, when you can have
    one that wins games off
    his bat, in overs!

    S.K.Warne (708/293) every ball a premeditated
    (C) manipulation of the
    batsman...and the game

    D.W.Fleming (75/134) swing meastro, robbed of
    a long career by injury

    D.K.Lillee (355/103) the master of his

    G.D.McGrath (563/381) always hit the spot!

  3. 12th man Mark Taylor- for his fine slips fielding

  4. all accounts tubby was an excellent captain, he is the best we had since one i chappell

  5. not a team list!
    best since I chappell (obviously not G)
    who says he was good- names please?

  6. leftrightout, how about Max Walker if we are picking on Mo's. but Hayden at 3?

    if unsure about Warne as Captain, check out his captaincy record, as ODI Australian captain, and as the only non Indian captain in the IPL.

    he was denied national captain because of his indiscretions -OFF FIELD, [WTF!]- and most likely because he is a Victorian.

    he is, without doubt the greatest cricket brain of this generation.

  7. I have lobotomised family members with greater cricket brains than Shane Warne. I doubt that a bloke who sent his mistress a text message accidently to his wife chould captain the Salisbury under 8's badminton team. This doesn't mean he can't bowl down his tweakers in my 11 but I sure as hell aren't letting him decide when to bowl. My 11:
    Clarke (the best is yet to come and what's already been is sensational)
    S. Waugh
    M. Hussey (I know Sie but f@$& it he's done well here)
    12th man - M. Waugh

  8. I am going to base my Aussie dream team from players who I have seen as a cricket spectator, so that would be anyone from the old World Series Cricket circa 1978 onwards. I can appreciate the Dons test average but 1930s stock footage does not count as watching cricket for me; so here goes….. (Because I know I will someone out)

    Mark Taylor – Excellent player for innings building, for his size he could hang around. Another Wagga product.
    Justin Langer – Gutsiest little player I have ever seen, would have been great against the mighty Windies teams from the 70s and 80s. His partner in crime, Matthew Hayden could also be included in this spot.
    Greg Chappell – Pure class had all the shots. He faced some of the meanest bowlers of his generation and beat them too.
    Mark Waugh – Afghan had all the shots, looked like he had all the time in the world.
    Steve Waugh – Named as my captain for his killer instinct, never settled for a draw. Oh and he could bat too, he had the best cover drive, (which was un-orthodox) in the business.
    Adam Gilchrist – Sorry wicket keeping does not win matches but his batting surely could, he has the physique of a footy player. When he hit it stayed hit, witnessed some of the biggest sixes I have ever seen.
    Shane Warne – He is the one bowler who could regularly change a game in the space of a few balls. Mind games was part of his arsenal, just ask some of the SAfrican players.
    Dennis Lillee – He had it all – the pace, that recognizable action the hairy chest with gold necklace. In his day, he was King. Even Hoges did a send up of him.
    Glenn McGrath –Pigeon was the second best fast bowler this country has produced, statics say he was better than Lillee.
    Bruce Reid – Unfortunately cut down by injury had only 27 tests but he dominated against the Poms in a couple of Ashes series. Left arm medium – fast bowler how had an extended reach as good as Joel Garner.
    Craig McDermott – The ginga was the back bone of the Aussie attack for a while. Loved his run up, could hurt batsmen too.
    Merv Hughes (12th Man) – Because he is a Victorian and an entertainer. I used to love his slow one.

  9. "I have lobotomised family members with greater cricket brains than Shane Warne. I doubt that a bloke who sent his mistress a text message accidently to his wife chould captain the Salisbury under 8's badminton team."

    WMPLOL! i've asked for opinion, and that is one top way of giving it, even though you don't need to take a phone out on the ground for team placements... that is a tidy way to express you disapproval Leftriteout. don't know what that says about your family... but i love the sentiment!

  10. Gab and Leftriteout, i'm a bit worried about your ginger love!
    C.McDermit was a good bowler in a pretty ordinary side, but does he really deserve to be on this list... anyone for a block on the GC?

  11. good remarks Gab

    mmm... gold chain on chest hair, uuuuurrrrrrggggghhh

  12. ok guys, start thinking about your best WORLD SIDE 1978-2008.

    post to come

    stoph verismo

  13. out of interest Gab, if Tubby was so good, why isn;t he your captain? not that i don;t like your pick.. apart from B.Reid who could snap in half with a wind change! i bet he was off the ground around 2pm to3pm every test in Perth!

    stoph verismo

  14. Steve Waugh has a superior record as captain, he was uncompromising, all ways wanted to to win, i thought his tactical nouse was bettter.

    During a couple of Ashes series, there was no one better than Bruce Reid, his left armers really troubled the Poms.

    McDermott has an awesome record, check his stats. Nothing wring with ginger pubes!

  15. You are all going to hell for picking Jug Head rather than Heals as keeper, Gilchrist could bat better? So what, Heals could sledge better!

  16. Bollocks; I just realised I didn't make it clear about the perving wanker - that's Boony; not you, Sie. Sorry mate.
    I was watching some highlights of McDermot recently - he was awesome. He also bowled during a pretty tough time for Aus cricket for a while. I couldn't pick Border because I remeber watching about 18 months of him getting bugger all runs and I used to be furious. Imagine he actually batted well for the the last 18 months of his career - his average would have been in the 60s or higher (could say this about Taylor to some extent - remember how many times he played onto his stumps or fished outside off to slips or gully). Yes Healy was a great sledger and Gilchrist was a Churchie goody pants but who cares about the wicket keeper?

  17. i liked the fact i read it (boony comment) as a crack at Ponsford... even though part of me knew what you meant Leftriteout!

    McDermott was a good bowler... in an ordinary side, and would have been fighting every wicket to keep his place in a later Aussie team, regardless of his height!

    if you remember A.B like that, surely you can't remember G.Chappels run of ducks and bugger-alls when he was at the helm! i say this by way as a crack at Gab, even though i acknowledge he was a very good classical stroke player, boo! same goes with Taylor, even though the sycophant did that retire at bradmans score thing!

    thank goodness someone said that about the wicket keeper! give any batsman the gloves and let it be! as long as the bowlers know some one is there for the catch or stumping, who cares; just makesure that batsman is a run getter... ah la Gilchrist!

    i rest my case Ponsford!

  18. What is with you and Healy, Ponsford (I shall use this name to address you from now on so our aliases remain intact)? He hated Victorians and anyone with dark skin and had one of the most annoying batting stances and techniques of all time. Little rodent. Why not pick Rod March as Aus Keeper - better with the gloves and bat. Just as good a sledger too. I know you'll say "but Healy kept to the best leg-spinner of all time for years" - yes that would have been exceedingly difficult; so difficult the little poonce started wearing a helmet. But Gilchrist did well to Warne too and we all know he was shit with the gloves. Further evidence that keepers are just stooges catching balls and yelling support to the bowler and fielders.

  19. think he just has a thing for ginga banana benders!